Comparison is a thief.
It robs you of being able to see the gifts that you bring to your world. It is far too easy to look at others, how far they have come, the skills they have that you feel you lack, the accomplishments and strides they have made, while you often feel like you are moving at a snail’s pace.
The ideal in the distance is a constantly moving target. If we live for it, we will feel frustrated by the gap between where we are now and the ever-changing ideal that we long for.
I have no power over my external circumstances. I cannot change others. I cannot make time slow down or speed up. I am only able to modify and change myself and my perspectives to find freedom and growth.
The more that I look at the external factors and base my stability on those factors, the more I set myself up for stress, overwhelm, frustration, and disappointment.
What do I need to shift or change about the way that I am viewing myself, my work, my kids, my spouse, my clients, my country, or any number of other external factors so that I may have a more generative viewpoint and lens?
What I focus on determines what I see… but it also determines what I miss. I want to focus on what I can control, what I have the ability to shift or change… and that is myself.
When I am feeling lost and unsure. When I can’t see how it all is going to come together. When I let the thoughts of what-if and should-have plague my subconscious. When I get stuck and scared, unable to move forward.
What can I do in these times to control the only thing that I have power over?
I pause, breathe, and remind myself of what is true:
I am capable.
I am a problem-solver.
I know wise people that I can call and seek counsel.
I have gains to feel proud of.
I have grown in ways I can lean on.
I am a learner.
I am needed right where I am.
I am here for a reason, and it is not by accident.
I can model showing myself grace so that others know it is okay to extend themselves grace when they feel unsure, when they get caught in the comparison trap and feel less-than, when they wish they were further along on a personal or professional goal, when they feel stuck, or scared. I can model pausing and refocusing my lens for a more generative viewpoint.
I can extend grace to others in support as they shift from looking at the gap to looking at the gain, and begin adjusting their own mindsets and perspectives.
I can have their back as they take back their power, by no longer being the victim to their external circumstances, by no longer allowing comparison to steal them away from bringing their gifts to their world.
Right here. Right now. Not by accident.