I snuck into the store late one night after my shift at Starbucks and walked to the most vulnerable aisle — feminine products. I stared at the endless array of pregnancy test options, weighing whether I should get the cheapest (not cheap) option or splurge on the name-brand one to ensure accuracy.
I glanced around, making sure I didn’t see anyone I knew, and buried the test under my belongings in the cart. In a daze, I snagged a few other items and made my way to the checkout line.
I braced myself for the moment ahead as I unloaded my items, pregnancy test among them, onto the conveyor belt to check out. I avoided eye contact while pretending to read a magazine on the shelf next to me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the cashier. I knew I looked too young to have a pregnancy test among my items, and I wasn’t ready to face the judgmental stare I feared would meet my gaze if I looked up.
After paying, I darted out of the store and drove back home.
Moments later, I was surveying the instructions, making sure I was reading what was staring back at me correctly. Two pink lines.
I was pregnant.
I wish there were words to describe the knot in my stomach. How do I tell my boyfriend that our lives are about to be turned completely upside down at such a young age? How do I tell my parents? What will my friends think? How will I handle the looks, comments, and gossip that I know are headed my way? How will I raise a child? I am not prepared, ready, or secure in any way to bring a child into this world.
I felt lost, scared, and alone.
The months ahead proved to be some of the most challenging and stretching of my entire life. And I learned so much during that season, which shaped who I am to this day.
This is why a client we had the joy of working with recently touched my heart on a very personal level. Hope House Colorado is a nonprofit organization that, for more than 20 years, has empowered parenting teen moms to strive for personal and economic self-sufficiency and to understand their significance in God’s sight, resulting in a healthy future for them and their children.
The staff at Hope House are supportive and loving humans who walk alongside teen moms as they navigate a path of wholeness and sustainability for themselves and their children.
We were able to host a half-day retreat for their leadership team, sharing the neuroscience behind the brain and reactivity with them. We guided them to a clearer understanding of what it means to be a most-effective leader, gave them tools to support internal regulation, and shared insights on how to break the flight | fight | freeze cycle faster. We invited them to reflect on the ways their own reactivity might be causing more harm than good and to consider what they would like to celebrate about their transformation as conscious leaders in one year.
We celebrated with them as they co-created ideas on how to empower their teams to be their best and live into the vision they hold dear around the mission and good work of Hope House as a whole.
To watch this team of passionate and caring leaders connect with themselves and one another better, and to see them visioning into how to love on teen mamas more effectively while also resourcing themselves to reduce their own burnout, was moving and powerful.
I love how our work “fits” into so many diverse buckets. Being a conscious leader and learning tools to reduce burnout is not a one-sector issue. It is a human issue. And the more that we as leaders lean into these vital tools and adopt a better way, the more we thrive, and our communities change for the better.