Becoming a more integrated leader isn’t something that happens to you simply by learning the concepts. It takes practice.
We often share this in our workshops — you won’t become a conscious leader without practice. Just like you won’t see muscle definition without hitting the gym. It only counts if you put in the reps.
I have been applying this into my life lately in more concrete ways. Confronting my insecurities head-on by putting in the reps to counteract my fears.
Recently, I had some challenging conversations around Roles, and a lot of the challenge for me personally in those conversations was my own insecurities being triggered.
I could have chosen to only focus on how someone “could have said XYZ differently, and it wouldn’t have been so challenging for me” — and while there is truth to that — I would be missing the bigger, and more important, point.
The primary focus should *not* be on what someone said or did… being aware of my own triggers is the key to unlocking my growth and potential.
I needed to take time to ask myself what I was feeling underneath my triggers. What was my internal narrative saying? Not the external narrative that I can easily point toward another with “should haves” or “could haves.”
After taking some time to be honest with myself, I noticed that I was subconsciously in agreement with what I assumed the other person was implying about me in those challenging Role conversations.
And I needed to dig into why… and what is true…
I needed to argue with *myself* more than anyone else.
I needed to own that I didn’t think I had what it took to do the job. To call out that I felt unsure if the way that I am naturally inclined or wired was going to set me up to fail. And I had to admit that I felt shaky under the pressure, fearful that if I did fail, I might not find my footing again.
I allowed myself to believe that my ability to succeed was set — predetermined — unmovable — defined by a societal narrative of what is.
So, I turned to an unusual source for support and clarity — ChatGPT.
I took all of my personality and aptitude tests and I imported those into ChatGPT and then asked it generative questions. I gave it some backstory and context, and I asked it, “In what ways am I a strong fit for this based on my aptitudes and strengths?”
Let me tell you — if you need some support in empowering yourself — do. this. activity.
Reading through to see how my unique strengths were assets to the task in front of me was exactly the push that I needed to break past my triggers and know that it was “safe to try.”
I felt the defensiveness melt away. I felt excited to step in & watch my gifts shine. The leading thought in my mind was no longer “what if I fail.”
I could see how even if my path looked different than someone with different skills and strengths — it wasn’t a pass/fail situation anyway.
But I didn’t stop there — I didn’t just take the learning & move on. I went a step beyond — the harder step… and I jumped in, putting myself into situations where I had to face the giant of my fear.
There is still a lot of learning ahead, and this feels like just a baby step. But I will keep putting in the reps, until I have built the trust with myself that I am a learner, I am a conqueror, I am growing, and I will continually become a more integrated leader in the process.